"I am a fictionalizing philosopher, not a novelist; my novel and story-writing ability is employed as a means to formulate my perception. The core of my writing is not art but truth. Thus what I tell is the truth, yet I can do nothing to alleviate it, either by deed or explanation. Yet this seems somehow to help a certain kind of sensitive troubled person, for whom I speak. I think I understand the common ingredient in those whom my writing helps: they cannot or will not blunt their own intimations about the irrational, mysterious nature of reality, and, for them, my corpus of writing is one long ratiocination regarding this inexplicable reality, an investigation and presentation, analysis and response and personal history. My audience will always be limited to those people." Unsourced.
"The creation of the Exegesis was an act of human survival in the face of a life-altering crisis... [...] Its pages represent Dick's passionate commitment to explicating the glimpse with which he had been awarded or cursed-- not for the sake of his own psyche, nor for the cause of the salvation of humankind, but precisely because those two concerns seemed to him to be one and the same." Editors Introduction to Exegesis
[Work in Progress]
A selection from Philip Kindred Dicks Exegesis, 1982.
See the Appendix for a selection of V.A.L.I.S.
The Exegesis took shape been 1974-- triggered by a profound personal experience-- and was only ended by his death in 1982. It is made up of about 8,000 pages of mostly handwritten paper which were found in his apartment after his death and stored in a garage and remained unpublished, partly it seems out of a concern held by some of his family in charge of his estate that their unusual nature would bring disrepute to the author, until a selection was printed in 2011 (prior to that, in 1981 Paul Williams published An Excerpt from the Exegesis, in 1984 Jay Kinney had published a brief Summary of the Exegesis Based on Preliminary Forays, which appears to be more a description of the editorial problem the manuscripts pose to any future attempt at publication, and in 1991 Lawrence Sutin edited In Persuit of Valis: Selections from the Exegesis which was 300 pages long).
Philip Kindred Dick was born prematurely in 1928 along with his twin sister, Jane, who died only a few months latter of malnutrition, leaving Philip an only child.
He thought that she should have lived and he died. He thought he was living at her expense. ...he developed a personality in his mind about how she would be if she had lived, and into that personality he injected all sorts of things from what we'd call his 'feminine side'. Ray Nelson (Philip K. Dicks friend). The trauma of Jane's death remained the central event of Phil's psychic life. The torment extended throughout his life, manifesting itself in difficult relations with women and a fascination with resolving dualist (twin-poled) dilemmas... real/fake, human/android, and at last (in as near an integration of intellect and emotion as Phil ever achieved ) in the two-source cosmology described in his Valis (1981). Divine Invasions: A Life of Philip K. Dick.
Journal Entry 32. The changing information which we experience as World is an unfolding narrative. It tells about the death of a woman. This woman, who died long ago, was one of the primordial twins. She was half of the divine syzygy. The purpose of the narrative is the recollection of her and of her death. The Mind does not wish to forget her. Thus the ratiocination of the Brain consists of a permanent record of her existence, and, if read, will be understood this way. All the information processed by the Brain--experienced by us as the arranging and rearranging of physical objects-- is an attempt at this preservation of her; stones and rocks and sticks and amoebae are traces of her. The record of her existence and passing is ordered onto the meanest level of reality by the suffering Mind which is now alone. (Valis)
The precursor to the events of 1974 seems to have been an incident in 1971 when he's office had been broken into and his filing cabinet, which contained his manuscripts, blown up, "It was then that Philip K. Dick's life began to resemble, as many have observed, a Philip K. Dick novel." In the Rolling Stone article which appeared in 197-, he said he believed that a government agency were responcible for the break in, and were interested in his work because some of what he wrote was too close to the truth which they wanted to cover up.
"You remember. Afraid about the authorities getting you."
"I was nuts," Fat had answered. "they weren't after me."
"But you thought they were and you were so scared you fucking couldn't sleep at night, night after night. [....] You started seeing colours... . [...] Thats described in The Tibetan Book of the Dead; that's the trip across the next world. You were mentally dying! From stress and fear! That's how it's done-- reaching the next reality! The dream-time!" (VALIS)
Among the events in his life which he talks about as occurring in 1974 the first occurred after Dick had an impacted wisdom tooth removed and was given Sodium Pentothal as a analgesic. Later that day, he was visited by a pharmacy girl delivering a bag of pain-killers who was wearing a gold necklace with a fish sign, which she identified as the same symbol used by the early Christians, "At that moment... Dick experienced 'anamnesis'-- that sudden, discorporating slippage into vast and total knowledge that he would spend the rest of his life explicating, or exegeting."
During the time that he spent working on the Exegesis, Dick published [was it 8?] novels.
[p.51] That I am in direct mind-to-mind touch with extraterrestrial intelligence systems has been obvious to me for some time, but what this means is not in any way obvious.
It's not all that meaningful to talk about being in contact with extraterrestrial intelligence; these are new words to describe ancient experiences.
So there is nothing new in what I've experienced, just new terms. Basically this is a religious experience, but also it is more because we are no longer a religious world; I am a secular person in a secular society and must understand my experiences in this context. Otherwise even if I understand them I can't communicate them.
The right hemisphere is the seat of the unconscious.
But every layer in it, and all its contents, were at one time part of consciousness, though not of any living men.
These are all the prior left-hemisphere consciousnesses, down through the ages; when they perished, they reappared in this dormant, sleeping form, not dead, not gone, but not awake: just slumbering, with all their memories and thoughts and experiences and ideas now in dream form.
This is where the dead went. This is where the dead are.
Also, this is the leavening in the bread which Christ spoke of. And the tiny mustard seed, growing and growing.
Within the right hemisphere (we all share just one among us, like a communal meal-- e.g., the Last Supper) this life is rising once more toward the consciousness it lost.
But when it achieves it again, it will be a transformed life, not the perishable one it had.
Being in all of us, and alive and conscious again (it is alive again, but not conscious; it has forgotten), it can't die. It will not be bound by time and space. It can return to the past, go wherever men are or ever have been or ever will be.
The experience of anamnesis is the moment when this sleeping mind which once was conscious, remembers its own existence. Who it is remembering is itself; what it is remembering is that it lived and lives now, and has a job to do. Also, it is not a separate entity as the left hemisphere is. Together, they form two appositional minds, linked through it with all the others on Earth and perhaps beyond.
It did not die; it fell asleep, for two thousand years, acquiring with the death of each new person a new onion-skin like layer of itself; by these slow accretions it grew-- toward completeness and reawakening, and remembering.
The moment at which it remembers... is the moment at which the Kingship of God... floods back into being: back into awareness of istelf, that it is Here; and it is here Now.
It contains within it thousands of years of slumbering world; the "connective unconscious" is becoming conscious, as was foretold by Jesus and Paul and John. It is (again) aware; (again) it thinks. It is Immanent Mind within us and around us, its sensory eyes open, with its identity (via memory restoration) intact. This was the goal of it all: the end journey of thousands of years and millions of men.
For those who lived and died, it wasn't in vain. They slumbered on, adding to one another in millions of laminations of transparencies.
For those, like me, who're alive, we are suddenly not alone, are suddenly given enormous support; He is with us again, our Savior.
...the third point in human evolution has now been reached. This moment equals, in importance, the leap from inanimate [matter] to animate [life]; this is true man, man realized at last, this third stage which began 3 million or 4 million years ago-- it is not the starting of the stage now, but the perfecting and completing of it. The millions of parts of this entity have wandered about the Earth during a spatial and temporal period of enormity and diversity; but it is all being collected and revived now-- collected during these epochs, revived now, by its merely pushing beyond the threshold: it reached saturation point, so to speak, and awoke.
It possesses immortality (through rebirth). It knows everything (through being gestalted from an almost infinite number of bits throughout space and time). Knowing it can't err, knowing it can't die, having a direct relationship with the Logos... or the Plan, it can make decisions partaking of Haggia Sophia: the wisdom of God.
"Haggia Sophia is about to be reborn. She was not acceptable in the past." This sentence refers to all of the above, and expresses it. We will have in our midst a wise entity, a sort of organic computer which will suprass its parts and the sum thereof.
[P. 151] What took possession of me, which seemed like Elijah (if not truly Elijah)? I guess it was the Father... . A form of the Father: the Holy Spirit, which, recall, made Mary pregnant, which brought conception to her; she conceived by the Holy Spirit and gave birth to the Logos; and yet, the Logos in a sense impregnated her; I guess the macro-Logos this way achieves its micropresence here. Locally.
Prophecy: seeing into. The past is within things (as in Ubik). Again, the onion rings universe. Where is the past? Within what we see, at the hearts. [...] Not behind but "below." Contained.
Well, if the past is within what we see (smaller concentric rings, constricgted) perhaps one can reason that the future consists of larger rings than that which makes up our perceptual present; vide Plotinus. The next concentric ring of emanation would be the future... strange. Which we reach toward, and whcih reciprocally reaches down to assist us, as I inferred about the "space people": they're from the future, reaching back to what for them is a smaller inner ring of the past, to give help. Angels. They would come to us in dream-time, with visions of what is ahead, and this is why dreams are prophetic. And less dense, less constricted than the daytime Now ring.
[p.184] We are all sleeping avatars of God, with amnesia.
[p.603] Therefore if you can get (your self) into a mythological narrative you will enter this dream time (as opposed to entering dream time and, by means of that, entering the myth). The entree to dream time is to reenact the (i.e., a) myth. I accidentally did this in 2-3-74 vis-a-vis "Acts" due to (1) Tears; and (2) the girl with the fish necklace. These plunged me into that other kind of time and so I saw world under that aspect, i.e., made eternal and holy-- and experienced anamnesis.
So I got into mythic time by reenacting the sacred myth, and, having done so, saw world under that aspect (e.g., the blood of the cosmic Christ, Rome, the secret real Christians). I fell into the myth by chance, and enetered the realm of the sacred.
(V.A.L.I.S. Vast Active Living Intelligence System)
I am Horselover Fat, and I am writing this in the third person to gain much-needed objectivity.
I am by profession, a science fiction writer. I deal in fantasies. My life is a fantasy.
Fat... developed a theory that the universe is made out of information. He started keeping a journal-- had been, in fact, secretly doing so for some time: the furtive act of a deranged person.
The term "journal" is mine, not Fat's. His term was "exegesis," a theological term meaning a piece of writing that explains or interprets a portion of scripture. Fat believed that the information fired at him and progressively crammed into his head in successive waves had a holy origin and hence should be regarded as a form of scripture.... .
He stayed up to four A.M. every night scratching away in his journal. I suppose all the secrets of the universe lay in it somewhere amid the rubble.
How do you break the news to someone that his brains are fried?
...the dope he did during the Sixties had pickled his head on into the Seventies. [...] Once, in 1964, when Sandox LSD-25 could still be acquired-- especially in Berkeley-- Fat had dropped one huge hit of it and had abreacted back in time or had shot forward in time or up outside of time; anyhow he had spoken in Latin and believed that the Dies Irae, the Day of Wrath, had come. [...] Well, perhaps the etiology of his later God-madness lay there.
You cannot say that an encounter with God is to mental illness what death is to cancer: the logical outcome of a deteriorating illness process. The technical term... is theophany. A theophany consists of a self-disclosure by the divine. It does not consist of something the percipient does; it consists of something the divine... does. [...] How are we do distinguish a genuine theophany from a mere hallucination on the part of the percipient?
The vividness of the impression which a supposed theophany makes on the percipient is no proof of authenticity. Nor, really, is group perception (as Spinoza supposed, the entire universe may be one theophany, but then, again, the universe may not exist at all, as the Buddhist idealists decided).
That the entire universe-- as we experience it-- could be a forgery is an idea best expressed by Heraclitus.
It is necessary to have understanding (noos) in order to be able to interpret the evidence of eyes and ears. The step from the obvious to the latent truth is like the translation of utterances in a language which is foreign to most men. Heraclitus... in Fragment 56 says that men, in regard to knowledge of perceptible things, 'are the victims of illusion much as Homer was.' To reach the truth from the appearances, it is necessary to interpret, to guess the riddle.... but though this seems to be within the capacity of men, it is something most men never do. Heraclitus is very vehement in his attacks on the foolishness of ordinary men, and of what passes for knowledge among them. They are compared to sleepers in private worlds of their own."
Thus says Edward Hussey.... in his book The Presocratics... . IN all my reading I have-- I mean, Horselover Fat has-- never found anything more significant as an insight into the nature of reality. In Fragment 123, Heraclitus says, "The nature of things is in the habit of concealing itself." And in Fragment 54 he says, "Latent structure is master of obvious structure," to which Edward Hussey adds, "Consequently, he (Heraclitus) necessarily agreed... that reality was to some extent 'hidden.'" So if reality "[is] to some extent 'hidden,'" then what is meant by "theophany"? Because a theophany is an inbreaking of God, an in-breaking which amounts to an invasion of our world; and yet our world is under the mastery of unseen "latent structure." Horselover Fat would like you to consider this above all other things. Because if Heraclitus is correct, there is in fact no reality but that of theophanies; the rest is illusion; in which case Fat alone among us comprehends the truth, and Fat... is insane.
Insane people... are not in touch with reality. Horselover Fat is insane; therefore he is not in touch with reality. Entry no. 30 from his exegesis:
The phenomenal world does not exist; it is a hypostasis of the information processed by the Mind.
35. [...] As Plato discerned, there is a streak of the irrational in the World Soul.
In other words, the universe itself-- and the Mind behind it-- is insane. Therefore someone in touch with reality is, by definition, in touch with the insane: infused by the irrational.
Fat told me another feature of his encounter with God: all of a sudden the landscape of California, USA, 1974 ebbed out and the landscape of Rome of the first century C.E. ebbed in. He experienced a superimposition of the two for a while, like techniques familiar in movies. In photography.
Fat found himself locked up in the Orange Country mental hospital
After one night in the receiving ward... Fat underwent his automatic evaluation. A whole host of well-dressed men and women confronted him; each held a clipboard and all of them scrutinized him intently.
Fat put on the trappings of sanity, as best he could. He did everything possible to convince them that he had regained his senses. As he spoke he realized that nobody believed him. [...] All he managed to do was abase himself and thereby divest himself of his last remnant of dignity.
Fuck it, Fat said to himself finally, and ceased talking.
"Go outside," one of the psych techs said, "and we'll let you know our decision."
"I really have learned my lesson," Fat said as he rose and started out of the room. "Suicide represents the introjection of hostility which should better be directed outward... I had a lot of time to meditate... and I realized that years of self-abnegation and denial manifested itself in my destructive act. But what amazed me the most was the wisdom of my body, which knew not only to defend itself from my mind but specifically how to defend itself. I realized now that Yeats's statement, 'I am an immortal soul tied to the body of a dying animal' is diametrically opposite to the actual state of affairs vis-a-vis the human condition."
The psych tech said, "We'll talk to you outside after we've made our decision."
Fat said, "I miss my son."
No one looked at him.
Presently, he sat outside in the corridor.... . Fat thought back over his life.
Spiritually, he was dead...
Either he had seen God too soon or he had seen him too late. In any case, it had done him no good at all in terms of survival. Encountering the living God had not helped to equip him for the tasks of ordinary endurance, which ordinary men, not so favored, handle.
But it could also be pointed out-- and Kevin had done so-- that Fat had accomplished something else in addition to seeing God.
"Listen!" Kevin said. "You know what Eliade says about the dream-time of the Australian bushmen? He says that anthropologists are wrong in assuming that the dream-time is time in the past. Eliade says that it's another kind of time going on right now, which the bushmen break through and into... . [...] ...the way they prepare for it is to undergo dreadful pain; it's their ritual of initiation. You were in a lot of pain when you had your experience; you had that impacted wisdom tooth and you were--" ...Kevin lowered his voice; he had been shouting. "You remember. Afraid about the authorities getting you."
"I was nuts," Fat had answered. "they weren't after me."
"But you thought they were and you were so scared you fucking couldn't sleep at night, night after night. [....] You started seeing colours... . [...] Thats described in The Tibetan Book of the Dead; that's the trip across the next world. You were mentally dying! From stress and fear! That's how it's done-- reaching the next reality! The dream-time!"
Right now Fat sat on the plastic and chrome couch mentally dying; in fact he was already mentally dead, and in the room he had left, the experts were deciding his fate, passing sentence and judgement on what remained of him. It is proper that technically qualified non-lunatics should sit in judgement on lunatics. How could things be otherwise?
"If they could just get across to the dream-time!" Kevin shouted. "That's the only real time; all the real events happen in the dream-time! The actions of the gods!"
"You found your way into the upper realm," Kevin declared. "Isn't that how you put it in your journal?"
48. Two realms there are, upper and lower. The upper derived from hyperuniverse I or Yang, form I of Parmenides, is sentient and volitional. The lower realm, or Yin, Form II of Parmenides, is mechanical, driven by blind, efficient cause, deterministic and without intelligence, since it emanates from a dead source. In ancient times it was termed "astral determinism." We are trapped, by and large, in the lower realm, but are, through the sacraments, by means of the plasmate, extricated. Until astral determinism is broken, we are not even aware of it, so occluded are we. "The Empire never ended."
"The Empire never ended," Fat quoted to himself. That one sentence appeared over and over again in his exegesis; it had become his tag line. Originally the sentence had been revealed to him in a great dream.
...during the interval in which he had experienced the two-world superimposition, he had seen not only California, USA, of the year 1974 but also ancient Rome, he had discerned within the superimposition a Gestalt shared both space-time continua, their common element: a Black Iron Prison. This is what the dream referred to as "the Empire." He knew it because, upon seeing the Black Iron Prison, he had recognized it. Everyone dwelt in it without realizing it. The Black Iron Prison was their world.
Who had built the prison-- and why-- he could not say. But he could discern one good thing: the prison lay under attack. And organization of Christians, nor regular Christians such as those who attended church every Sunday and prayed, but secret early Christians wearing light gray-coloured robes, had started an assault on the prison, and with success. [They] were filled with joy.
Once, in a cheap science fiction novel, Fat had come across a perfect description of the Black Iron Prison but set in the far future. So if you superimposed the past (ancient Rome) over the present (California in the twentieth century) and superimposed the far future world of The Android Cried Me a River over that, you got the Empire, the Black Iron Prison, as the supra- or trans-temporal constant. Everyone who had ever lived was literally surrounded by the iron walls of the prison; they were all inside it and none of them knew it-- except for the gray-robed secret Christians.
That made the early, secret Christians supra-or trans-temporal, too, which is to say present at all times. [...] Why did these antithetical forces emerge into palpability only when the past, present and future somehow-- for whatever reason-- got superimposed?
Maybe in the bushman's dream-time no time existed. [...] ...how, if no time passed in the dream-time, could the prison come to an end? It reminded Fat of the peculiar statement in Parsifal: "You see, my son, here time turns into space." During his realigious experience... Fat had seen an augmentation of space: yards and yards of space, extending all the way to the stars; space opened up around him as if a confining box had been removed. [...] And at night in sleep he had dreamed of a measureless void, yet a void which was alive.
When you are crazy, you learn to keep quiet.
Conversations in mental hospitals resemble conversations in bus stations, because in a Greyhound bus station everyone is waiting, and in a mental hospital... everyone is waiting. They wait to get out.
The distinction between sanity and insanity is narrower than a razor's edge... . It is more elusive than the merest phantom. Perhaps it does not exist; perhaps it is a phantom.
Dr. Stone who had charge of the ward, interviewed him one day.
He could see that Dr. Stone was totally crazy, but in a good way.
"You have much anger in you," Dr. Stone said. "I am lending you a copy of the Tao Te Ching. Have you ever read Lao Tzu?"
"No," Fat admitted.
"Let me read you this part here," Dr. Stone said.
Its upper part is not dazzling;
Its lower part is not obscure.
Dimly visible, it cannot be named...
Go up to it and you will not see its head;
Follow behind it and you will never see its rear.
Hearing this, Fat remembered entries 1 and 2 from his journal. He quoted them, from memory, to Dr. Stone.
1. One Mind there is; but under it two principles contend.
2. The Mind lets in the light, then the dark; in interaction; so time is generated. At the end Mind awards victory to the light; time ceases and the Mind is complete.
"But," Dr. Stone said, "If Mind awards victory to thelight, and the dark disappears, then reality will disappear, since reality is a compound of Yang and Yin equally."
"What else can you tell me?" Dr. Stone said.
Fat said, "Time does not exist. [...] The universe is contracting into a unitary entity which is completing itself. Decay and disorder are seen by us in reverse, as increasing. Entry 18 of my exegesis reads: 'Real time ceased in 70 c.e. with the fall of the Temple of Jerusalem. It began again in 1974. The intervening period was a spurious interpolation... .'"
"Interpolated by whom?" Dr. Stone asked.
"The Black Iron Prison, which is an expression of the Empire. [...] What has been most important in my discoveries is this: 'The Empire never ended.'"
Leaning against his desk, Dr. Stone folded his arms, rocked forward and back and studied Fat, waiting to hear more.
"That's all I know," Fat said, becoming belatedly cautious.
"I'm very interested in what you're saying," Dr. Stone said.
Fat realized that one of two possibilities existed and only two; either Dr. Stone was totally insane... or else in an artful, professional fashion he had gotten Fat to talk; he had drawn Fat out and now knew that Fat was totally insane.
He decided to go for broke, to tell Dr. Stone the most fantastic entry in his exegesis.
"Entry number twenty four," Fat said. "'In dormant seed form, as living information, the plasmate slumbered in the buried library of codices at Chenoboskion until-'"
"What is 'Chenoboskion'?" Dr. Stone interrupted.
"Oh, the Gnostic library." Dr. Stone nodded. "Found and read in 1945 but never published. 'Living information'?"
"'Living information,'" he echoed. And then he said, "The Logos."
"Yes," Dr. Stone said. "The Logos would be living information, capable of replicating."
"Homoplasmates. That's a human being to which the plasmate had crossbonded. Interspecies symbiosis [Editors note: see Terence Mckenna on the mushroom]. As living information the plasmate travels up the optic nerve of a human to the pineal body. It uses the human brain as a female host-"
Dr. Stone grunted and squeezed himself violently.
"-in which to replicate itself into its active form," Fat said. "The Hermetic alchemists knew of it in theory from ancient texts but could not duplicate it, since they could not locate the dormant buried plasmate."
"But you're saying the plasmate-- the Logos-- was dug up at Nag Hammadi!"
"Yes, when the codices were read."
"Where did the plasmate originally come from?"
After a pause Fat said, "From another star system." [Editors note: see Dicks 'The Divine Invasion' where this theme is elaborated]
"You wish to identify that star system?"
"Sirius," Fat said.
"Dr. Stone," he said, "there's something I want to ask you. I want your professional opinion."
"Could the universe possibly be irrational?"
"You mean not guided by a mind. I suggest you turn to Xenophanes."
"Sure," Fat said. "Xenophanes of Colophon. 'One god there is, in no way like mortal creatures either in bodily form or in the thought of his mind. The hole of him sees, the whole of him thinks, the whole of him hears. He stays always motionless in the same place; it is not right-'"
"'Fitting,'" Dr. Stone corrected. "'It is not fitting that the should move about now this way, now that.' And the important part, Fragment 25. 'But, effortlessly, he wields all things by the thought of his mind.'"
"But he could be irrational," Fat said.
"How would we know?"
"The whole universe would be irrational."
Dr. Stone said, "Compared with what?"
That, Fat handn't thought of.
"The Logos isn't rational," Fat decided out loud. "What I call the plasmate. Buried as information in the codices at Nag Hammadi. Which is back with us now, creating new homoplasmates. The Romans, the Empire, killed all the original ones."
"But you say real time ceased in 70 A.D. when the Romans destroyed the [second] Temple [in Jerusalem]. Therefore these are still Roman times; the Romans are still here. This is roughly-" Dr. Stone calculated. "About 100 A.D."
Fat realized, then, that this explained his double exposure, the superimposition he had seen of ancient Rome and California 1974. Dr. Stone had solved it for him.
The psychiatrist in charge of treating him for his lunacy had ratified it.
"I think you're ready to leave," Stone said cheerfully.
Fat said, "But let me ask you. I'm not talking about no mind at all directing the universe. I'm talking about a mind like Xenophanes conceived of, but the mind is insane."
"The Gnostics believed that the creator deity was insane," Stone said.
Perhaps Fat had discerned a vast mystery, in calling the Logos living information.
The universe might be irrational, but something rational had broken into it, like a thief in the night breaks into a sleeping household, unexpectedly in terms of place, in terms of time.
Normally it remained camouflaged.
What if a high form of sentient mimicry existed-- such a high form that no human (or few humans) had detected it? What if it could only be detected if it wanted to be detected? [...] The astonished human being would say, I saw God; whereas in fact he saw only a highly evolved ultra-terrestrial life form, a UTI, or an extgra-terrestrial life form (an ETI) which had come here at some time in the past... and perhaps, as Fat conjectured, had slumbered for nearly two thousand years in dormant seed form as living information in the codices at Nag Hammadi.
A "hylozoist" believes that the universe is alive... .
Fat came to the conclusion that it had invaded our universe; and a year later he realized that it was consuming-- that is, devouring-- our universe. Zebra accomplished this by a process much like transubstantiation.
Instead of seeing this in church [i.e., in the Eucharist as the 'body of Christ'], Fat had seen it out in the world; and not in micro-form but in macro-form, which is to say, on a scale so vast that he could not estimate its limits. The entire universe, possibly, is in the invisible process of turning into the Lord. And with this process comes not just sentience but-- sanity.
If Fat was psychotic, you must admit that it is a strange sort of psychosis to believe that you have encountered an inbreaking of the rational into the irrational.
What it did was step forward out of its state of camouflage; it disclosed itself as set to ground and fired information...; ...whole libraries at him in nanoseconds.
God, in very truth, attacks and injures us in his role as antidote. [...] Heraclitus wrote, "Latent form is the master of obvious form," and, "The nature of things is in the habit of concealing itself."
So the rational, like a seed, lies concealed within the irrational bulk.
At this point in the Meisterwerk he had begun patiently to fabricate his cosmogony, which is the technical term for, "How the cosmos came into existence." Few individuals compose cosmogonies; usually entire cultures, civilizations, people or tribes are required: a cosmogony is a group production, evolving down through the ages. Fat well knew this, and prided himself on having invented his own. He called it:
Two source cosmogony.
In his journal or exegesis it came as entry 47 and was by far the longest single entry.
The one was and was-not, combined, and desired to separate the was-not from the was. So it generated a diploid sac which contained, like an eggshell, a pair of twins... (the Yin and Yang of Taoism, with the one as the Tao). The plan of the One was that both twins would emerge into being (wasness) simultaneously; however, motivated by a desire to be... , the counter-clockwise twin broke through the sac and separated prematurely; i.e., before full term. This was the dark or Yin twin. Therefore it was defective. At full term the wiser twin emerged. Each twin formed a unitary entelechy, a single living organism made of psyche and soma... . The full term twin, called Form I by Parmenides, advanced correctly through its growth stages, but the prematurely born twin, called Form II, languished.
The next step in the One's plan was that the Two would become the Many, through dialectic interaction. From them as hyperuniverse they projected a hologram-like interface, which is the pluriform universe we creatures inhabit. The two sources were to intermingle equally in maintaining our universe, but Form II continued to languish toward illness, madness and disorder. These aspects she projected into our universe.
It was the One's purpose for our hologramatic universe to serve as a teaching instrument by which a variety of new lives advanced until they would be isomorphic with the One.
The psyche of hyperuniverse I sent a micro-form of itself into hyperuniverse II to attempt to heal it. The micro-form was apparent in our hologramatic universe as Jesus Christ. However, hyperuniverse II, being deranged, at once tormented, humiliated, rejected and finally killed the micro-form of the healing psyche of her healthy twin. After that, hyperuniverse II continued to decay into blind, mechanical, purposeless processes. It then became the task of Christ (more properly the Holy Spirit) to either rescue the life forms in the hologramatic universe, or abolish all influences on it emanating from II.
Within time, hyperuniverse II remains alive: "The Empire never ended." But in eternity, where the hyperuniverses exist, she has been killed-- of necessity-- by the healthy twin of hyperuniverse I, who is our champion. The One grieves for this death, since the ONe loved both twins; therefore the information of the Mind consists of a tragic tale of the death of a woman, the undertones of which generate anguish into all the creatures of the hologramatic universe without their knowing why. This grief will depart when the healthy twin undergoes mitosis and the "Kingdom of God" arrives. The machinery for this transformation-- the procession within time from the Age of Iron to the Age of Gold-- is at work now; in eternity it is already accomplished.
At night he did the only act left open to him: work on his exegesis. He had reached an important entry.
Entry 48. ON OUR NATURE. It is proper to say: we appear to be memory coils (DNA carriers capable of experience) in a compluter-like thinking system which, although we have correctly recorded and stored thousands of years of experiential information, and each of us possesses somehwat different deposits from all the other life forms, there is a... failure of memory retrieval. There lies the trouble in our particular subcircuit. "Salvation" through gnosis-- more properly anamnesis (the loss of amnesia)-- although it has individual significance for each of us-- a quantum leap in perception, idenity, cognition, understanding, world-and self-experience, including immortality-- it has greater and further importance for the system as a whole, inasmuch as these memories are data needed by it and valuable to it, to its overall functioning.
Therefore it is in the process of self-repair, which includes: rebuilding our subcircuit via linear and orthogonaltime changes, as well as continual signaling to us to stimulate blocked memory banks within us to fire and hence retrieve what is there.
The external information or gnosis, then, consists of disinhibiting instructions, with the core content actually intrinsic to us-- that is, already there (first observed by Plato; vis: that learning is a form of remembering).
Fat reworked journal entry 29 and added it to his ON OUR NATURE entry:
29. We did not fall because of a memory error; we fell because of an intellectual error: that of taking the phenomenal world as real. Therefore we are morally innocent. It is the Empire in its various disguised polyforms which tells us we have sinned. "The Empire never ended."
30. The phenomenal world does not exist; it is a hypostasis of the information processed by the Mind.
27. If the centuries of spurious time are excised, the true date is not 1979 C.E. but 103 C.E. Therefore the New Testament says that the Kingdom of the Spirit will come before "some now living die." We are living, therefore, in apostolic times.
Fat decided to put down on the tractate all the prophetic statements fired into his head by Zebra. [...] But since he had gone crazy, he also entered absurdities into his tractate.
50. The primordial source of all our religions lies with the ancestors of the Dogon tribe, who got their cosmogony and cosmology directly from the three-eyed invaders who visited long ago. [They were] telepathic, could not breathe our atmosphere, had the elongated misshapen skull of Ikhnaton and emanated from a planet in the star-system Sirus. [...] They covertly influenced our history toward a fruitful end.
By now Fat had finally lost touch with reality.
This mention of three-eyed invaders with claws instead of hands, mute, deaf and telepathic creatures from another star, interested me. Regarding this topic, Fat showed a natural sly reticence; he knew enough not to shoot his mouth off about it. In March 1974 at the time he had encountered God..., he had experienced vivid dreams about the three-eyed people-- he had told me that. They manifested themselves as cyborg entities: wrapped up in glassbubbles staggering under asses of technological gear. ...Solviet technicians could be seen, hurrying to repair malfunctions of the sophisticated technological communications apparatus enclosing the three-eyed people.
"Maybe the Russians beamed microwave psychogenic or psychotronic or whatever-they-call-it signals at you," I said, having read an article on alleged Soviet boosting of telepathic messages by means of microwaves.
...in these visions or dreams or hypnagogic states he had heard Russian words spoken and had seen page upon page, hundreds of pages, of what appared to be Russian technical manuals... .
"You overheard a two-way transmission," I suggested. "Between the Russians and an extra-terrestrial entity."
In Fat's opinion his apartment had been saturated with high levels of radiation of some kind. IN fact he had seen it: blue light dancing like St. Elmo's Fire.
And, what was more, the aurora that sizzled around the apartment behaved as if it were sentient and alive. [...] ...when it reached Fat's head it transferred-- not just information to him, which it did-- but also a personality. A personality which wasn't Fat's. A person with different memories, customs, tastes and habits.
Well, I'll say this: Fat's encounter may not have been with God, but it certainly was with something.
No wonder Fat started scratching out page after page of his exegesis. ...he was trying to figure out what the fuck had happened to him.